One Great Truth

Listen to One Great Truth in this weeks upbeat podcast with Vonda Skelton

Is it true? God can use anyone for his purpose.

Enjoy the conversation as Christian author and motivational speaker Vonda shares the truth hidden by the world’s lies. And what letting go and trusting God really means.

Vonda shares what humility really looks like and the joy it brings.

Margaret tells how a standard IQ test will change your view of marriage.

Listen now One Great Truth

Keep scrolling for the transcript if you’d rather read than listen, Links and more

Margaret Agard:  Have you ever thought that the first 40 years of years of your life might simply be the time of preparation for what God really has for you to do?  Or have you thought that given what you’ve already done in your past ever did have anything for you to do?  He can’t use you now.  You have just done too much bad stuff.  Today, we’ll be talking with Vonda Skelton, Christian author, speaker, shares with us how God used her not in spite of her mistakes but because of her mistakes.

Male Speaker:  Now, here’s this week’s bible question and answer, brought to you by the amazing Bible Timeline.  Quickly see 6,000 years of bible and world history together on one color-coded wall poster.  Find out more about the amazing Bible Timeline or ask your own bible question at amazing bibletimeline.com.

Margaret Agard:  The bible question this week is: What is the significance of the number 40?  Well, surprisingly, the time period of 40 days, weeks, years, is actually significant.  This is from Nave’s Topical Bible.  There were 40 days of rain at the beginning of the flood.  Think about that.  Forty years of the Israelites in the wilderness, 40 days of Israel’s (surprise) who went in to the Promised Land to back it up.  There were 40 days of fasting by Moses, the prophet Elijah and Christ.  It generally refers to a time of testing, probation, or being tried.

And now here’s Vonda Skelton sharing with us the seven lies that women believe and the most surprising lie of all that keeps most of us from fulfilling the purpose for which we’ve been sent here.  Okay, so what are seven lies?

Vonda Skelton:  The first one and I think it’s the one that is foremost for everyone, for all of us as women, is the beauty issue.  Right now, in today’s culture, beauty is everything I’m not.  The biggest thing is I’m not young.  You know, there is such an aversion to aging in America today and you know, I want to look as good as anybody else and be as young as anybody else, but that youth thing as far as beauty is probably the biggest lie that women struggle with and then of course—

Margaret Agard:  But there is some truth to that because I was talking with a man who does make-overs specifically for older women and he said women start to feel invisible.  No one is paying attention to them any longer.  And what they say isn’t of value.

Vonda Skelton:  Oh, that is so true and you know, I hesitate to say this because I don’t want it to be taken the wrong way, but it’s amazing to me if you have a group of women my age, and I’m almost 61, if you have a group of women my age sitting around talking, invariably, something is going to come up about them getting older and their feelings of beauty or self-worth or whatever related to their age so we bemoan the fact that older women have more trouble getting a job or they’re not respected or they’re not seen as beautiful for the age that they are whatever it is.  But yet, this same group of women, my peers are the ones that are chasing after beauty through plastic surgery and so many things that, to me, it feels like what we’re doing is we’re feeding the same frenzy that the world is.

Margaret Agard:  Does God want us to be plain-looking?

Vonda Skelton:  I don’t think so.  I think we should do the best that we can do, that we should look clean, and as stylish within reason than not, but I think the primary thing is what is the intention of our heart.  Is the intention of our heart to look as good as we can look or is it to look like something that we’re not or not take value in our years of experience?  I can honestly say, Margaret that I would not want to be 40 again.  I would not want to have to learn the lessons that I’ve learned in the 21 years since I turned 40.

Margaret Agard:  True.

Vonda Skelton:  I would love to see us embrace who we are and where we are and take value in what God has allowed us to experience and then take that experience and invest in other women.  And yet—

Margaret Agard:  Here’s a question, Vonda.  And I think that focus has a lot to do with it because that also relates to the prosperity doctrine that you talk about the prosperity religion and how could Paul sing in prison?

Vonda Skelton:  Right, right.  I could really get a soapbox about this one, but so many times we hear ministries or pastors or Christian leaders or whatever talking about if you will do this, God will bless you and you’ll get whatever it is you want.

Margaret Agard:  I liked how you put it in the note you sent me—if the prosperity religion were true, why don’t we have 2,000 year old wealthy Christians?

Vonda Skelton:  Yes.  Exactly.  I mean, it makes no sense.  So does that mean because someone turns 40 and they have to start wearing reading glasses?  Does that mean they don’t have enough faith, that they don’t give enough money?  No.  That is part of our world now because of sin coming in and taking over and because of that, we’ve got the fall of man and so we’re going to go through a life cycle and we’re going to die.  And when you look at the leaders of the superstars if you want to use that word, of God’s word, the Bible, if you look at Jesus, if you look at the disciples, if you look at all of the major people in the bible, they struggled.  They may be wealthy.  There were some wealthy, Old Testament men.

Margaret Agard:  Abraham.

Vonda Skelton:  Yes, oh, Abraham, David, Solomon; they were a numerous wealthy people that God used, but they struggled, and so one of the chapters in my book is called, “It’s a Wonderful Life?” and the whole point is that God doesn’t promise us we’ll have a wonderful life here on earth.  Jesus tells us remember, when He said you’re going to have trouble in this world, let me tell you.  He also said don’t worry about clothes.  Don’t worry about things.  Don’t worry about money.  There’s so many things that are the total opposite of what prosperity Christianity teaches.

Margaret Agard:  Now, how do you balance say, being in a position to help others versus chasing after money in really selfish ways?  Or how do you balance how you look versus what you’re doing?  You know how much time you spend on your looks and your health versus how much you spend out focusing on other people?  How do you personally balance that, Vonda?

Vonda Skelton:  For me, it all goes back to my heart.  I can do all the right things and look good and smell good and people think I’m wonderful but one of the revelations that God taught me since I’ve turned 40-range was that I cannot manipulate God.  You know, let’s be honest here, we girls, and men too, we learn how to manipulate our husbands, how to manipulate work, other people, our friends, our children, whatever.  I mean, we do.  If we’re honest, we do.  And yet this light bulb went on my head one day that I cannot manipulate God.  I can say whatever I want to say, but he still knows the truth.

Margaret Agard:  Yes.

Vonda Skelton:  So as long as my heart is seeking to help other people, to be the best representation of Christ that I can be, as long my heart is seeking after that, then we’ll know when we’ve gotten to that edge of the line.

Margaret Agard:  You know you’re talking about since you were 40, a lot of people who listen to this are in an older age bracket, well, some might be younger, but they’re looking ahead, and a lot of people are thinking I want to write a book.  I want to go out and share what I’ve learned.  I want to share my wisdom like you are.  And it could be through a speaking ministry or through books or they’re just not sure.  So how did you get started on your ministry?

Vonda Skelton:  I never did like women before.  I grew up a tomboy, and you know, women were just always nyeh, nyeh, nyeh, and I don’t know, I just happened at times to be in churches where there was just a lot of gossip and a lot of comparing and striving to do better than everybody else and all this and so I just had never gotten involved in women’s ministry even as a participant.  When our church started a women’s ministry, they came to me and wanted me to help start up the women’s ministry and I said, “Um, no, I don’t do women” because I love kids.  Kids didn’t care if my nails were chipped.  You know kids didn’t care if I didn’t have on the latest style of clothes, but women seem to care about that.  Now, that’s not to say in the church that we were—

Margaret Agard:  A certain group does.  It’s true.  They’re pretty vocal.

Vonda Skelton:  Pardon?

Margaret Agard:  That’s the problem.  They’re pretty vocal.

Vonda Skelton:  Yes, and see, I’m not a girly girl.  I say in my book that I’m not a domestic diva that when God handed out spiritual gifts, He did not give me the spiritual gift of hospitality and home-making, you know?  But anyway, I didn’t join the women’s ministry at all.  Well, one day, I was studying, in my own time, Titus 2.  I was studying Titus and came to Titus 2 where it said let the older women teach the younger women to love their husbands and their children and blah, blah, blah, and all of a sudden, it hit me.  You know what?  I’m one of the older women in my church and I don’t hear God out loud but you know how it is.  When you know He’s telling you you’ve got to do something.  And He told me that I had to share my marriage testimony with the women of my church.  Well, I just, real quick told him exactly what I thought about that idea.  That just was not what I wanted to do because to give you a real quick synopsis, the bottom line is I bulldozed my way through the first 15 years of our marriage and almost lost my husband.  He almost left and through that process was really that was what brought me to a true point of salvation.  And that’s what revolutionized not only my marriage and saved my marriage, but showed me what God really wanted out of my life.  So anyway, I fought with him for months, finally, okay, God, I’m going to do this thing because you say I have to but I want you to know I’m not happy about it.  Because I didn’t want the women to know how I had treated Gary.

You know, I taught Sunday school.  I led the children’s dramas.  I worked in Awana.  I was one of the outstanding people in the church.  I mean, I really was.  I was a leader and I did not want to tarnish that image and to be honest with them and give them a full testimony, I would have to confess how I treated Gary and what my heart had been.  And so I finally said, okay, okay.  So I went to my women’s ministry later and I said, Sandra, “God’s telling me I got to share my marriage testimony.”  She says, “Oh, Vonda, this is wonderful.”  And I said, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.  What month do you want me to do it?”  Ten minutes, I’m done and God will leave me alone, you know?  And she said, “No, this is absolutely amazing.”  I said, “Sandra, it’s not that big of a deal.  Just tell when to do it.”  She said, “Oh, you’re not going to do the 10-minute testimony, you’re going to lead our retreat.”  And then she said the words that I could not argue with.  She said, “I’ve been having trouble finding what I felt was the right speaker for our women’s retreat.  So this week, I told God, if you want us to have a women’s retreat speaker, you’re going to have to bring her to me.”  And there I was…

Margaret Agard:  Do you love how God works?  And I think that says something to people if you can just do what God asks you to do because are you happy now?

Vonda Skelton:  Oh my goodness, I came home instead of giving a 10-minute testimony, I spoke four hours that weekend and I came home from that weekend knowing what I was created for.  Oh my goodness and you know what?  My life has changed immeasurably because of that one step of obedience which I call a defiant submission.  I mean, I submitted to the Father, but I was still defiant in the submitting, but I know at that point, God will say it, okay, Vonda, just get ready.

Margaret Agard:  And the point is that He does do exactly what you said.  He knows more than we do what will make us truly happy and joyful.  And we think He’s crazy and when we do what He asks and we submit to Him, He truly does give us a much better life than we have planned for ourselves.  We have great plans but nowhere near what God’s plans are.

Vonda Skelton:  Oh, is that not the truth?  Is that not the truth?  So through that, God developed an entire speaking ministry, that was in 1998 that I spoke and…

Margaret Agard:  It has been 13 years?

Vonda Skelton:  Yes…

Margaret Agard:  Going on 14?

Vonda Skelton:  And I just look  back in awe of what he has done and through that, you know, my writing ministry came out of it, my speaking and I teach writers and help train writers and we just this year, developed the Christian communicators organization which is to train Christian women to develop the speaking ministry and so—

Margaret Agard:  Now, Vonda this is at your website Vondaskelton.com where they can get links to writing and to speaking and to your organizations that you’re working with?

Vonda Skelton:  Yes.

Margaret Agard:  Okay and there’ll be links on the http://inhisfootsteps.com  blog.  Vonda, what haven’t you said yet?

Vonda Skelton:  You know one thing I’ve noticed as I travel all over the country is that in general, we have a hard time letting go of our guilt.  Part of the reason we have all this self-esteem issue is we don’t recognize who we are in Christ.  We still can struggle with our past and we can still think that God can’t use us and yet, the bible is so 100% opposite of that message.  God directed that Matthew list the lineage of Jesus.  Out of all the women because for every man that was listed, there was a women, obviously, but the five women that God chose to list in that lineage, of course, Mary.  So we know Mary, we’ll set her aside.  The other four women were Tamar, a seducer; Rahab, a prostitute; Ruth, an idol worshipper; and Bathsheba, an adulterer.

Now, I’m sure in that lineage of Jesus, there were other very godly women, who had not been seducers, a prostitutes, an adulterer, an idol worshipper.  But God didn’t choose to list those because he knew today, in 2011/12, women were going to know, I can use you.  I can use you but the key to being used is whether we’ll tell, be transparent.

We look at the woman at the well.  She had a face-to-face encounter with Christ, which we all do at some point.  We will have a face-to-face encounter with Christ.  And she had one and Jesus was so open with her, He didn’t you know, dance around the truth, He just laid it out there.  But what thrills me to death is that it says she left Him ran back to her town and said, let me tell about a man, let me tell you about this man who told me everything I ever did, could He be the Christ?  And so she goes back to town, she doesn’t stop and study the scripture.  She doesn’t stop and take Greek and Hebrew, you know?  She doesn’t stop and take some sort of bible study.  She just goes back to her town.  Here she is the lowest of the low in town and yet, she says, let me tell you about a man and the bible tells us that many in her town were saved because of her testimony.

Margaret Agard:  Vonda, how can the men in our lives—husbands, fathers, brothers, friends—how does Gary help you, support you with your ministry?

Vonda Skelton:  Well, it’s real interesting.  The best way that he supports me is behind the scenes.  He prays for me.  He supports me in validating me.  And I am the colourful helium balloon just bouncing all over the place and having a good time and getting lots of attention, but Gary is my string holder.

Margaret Agard:  You know, sometimes it’s the opposite way, but I really like that what you point out is one way we support each is to pray for each other.  And then to look seriously as you two did at your differences and see them not as a problem, but as what makes you complete.

Vonda Skelton:  And one of the things that he did in healing our marriage is that he helped me see that I needed to see the qualities that Gary had because for so long, all I saw were the things that weren’t the way I wanted them to be.  And when I began to look for those wonderful qualities that he had, his faithfulness, his hard work, his provision for the family, his stability, I didn’t have to worry about him being out there somewhere doing some weird something, that he’s stable.  But what we’ve discovered is I bring the excitement and the fun and the adventure to life and he brings the stability and the strength, you know, and then truth, if we were both like him, we’d lead a dull life.  As far as my view, what my view would be.  But if we were both like me, we would be in trouble.

Margaret Agard:  Yeah, living in a refrigerator box somewhere probably.

Vonda Skelton:  Oh, because God is just so good to have put us together and you know what?  He was that way the whole time.  But I didn’t know it.  I didn’t see it.  I didn’t validate him.  I didn’t appreciate those parts of him.

Margaret Agard:  You know, my husband and I once took those online intelligence test and we scored about the same.  We were both very intelligent, I would say that.  But he was intelligent in two of the areas, he scored higher in that, low in the others.  And mine were the opposite.  So I said, we ought to take this test together.  If we ever disagree on an answer, we’ll go with your strength or my  strength, whosever strength it was.  And I’ll tell you Vonda, we am a genius.

Vonda Skelton:  Oh, how funny!  Oh my goodness, but the two become one flesh so I guess that works, huh?

Margaret Agard:  Yes.

Vonda Skelton:  If I could say one more thing that I—

Margaret Agard:  Please do.

Vonda Skelton:  —thought of.  People will often ask when I give the testimony of our marriage and the journey that we went on, people will often say, how did you all mend your marriage?  Did you take counselling?  Until somebody asks me that, I never realized this truth.  The truth was that the healing of my marriage had very little to do with Gary.  It had everything to do with my relationship with Christ and the condition of my heart.  And him revealing to me how manipulative I was, how hardened I was, how self-centered I was and two verses that he used to restore my marriage and to begin to work on my relationship with other people as well was as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone and think of others better that yourself.  No selfish ambition.  You know, I had always been a hard worker.  It was all about God and me and my heart and once he got a hold of me in this whole new way that took me on a journey that healed our marriage.

Margaret Agard:  Thanks for sharing that Vonda.

Vonda Skelton:  Well, thank you.  And if I could’ve kept that to myself, and I would’ve learned from it and nobody else would have or I could be transparent and share it and I often will say that if we all go through struggles and we can either keep it to ourselves and we hold on to the scar or we can be transparent and I can use that and not waste, He doesn’t waste any scars if we allow Him to use them.  And we can help—

Margaret Agard:  And that is true generosity.

Vonda Skelton:  You just go and tell.  Let’s go!

Margaret Agard:  Just go and tell.  Doesn’t that make you feel happy to know that God can use you not in spite of your mistakes but because of your mistakes and what you have learned from them and how your heart has changed as a result.  Sometimes we just feel sad.  You know what I do?  I have a site I go to goodnewsnetwork.com.  That’s one of the things I do when I feel like sad about the condition of the world and the things I’ve done.  But there other times when I reach out to God, one day, I was feeling a little down and I started to pray to Heavenly Father and say to him, I’m feeling lonely.  I’m feeling disconnected from you.  I have prayed.  I’ve read my scriptures.  Could you just send me something so I know you love me, that you’re aware of me?  I know a woman who gets love songs and then, I thought, I better, I don’t need money.  I’ve prayed for money before but I didn’t need it and I’m not sure even if that’s what he sent that it would have touched me the way something else would.  I said I don’t know what you could send, maybe a butterfly or a rose or something.  Just something that lets me know you love me.

And then I got in the car to go out to do my good deed for the day.  I was going to help a friend reorganize her storage shed which was a mess.  She’s not a very good organizer, but I am.  So off I went to do that good deed and as I got in the car, I popped an audio tape that was playing and the radio started play instead, I was about to change the station, when I heard the spirit whisperer, here’s your song.  And this is what I heard: “The chorus to 26 cents by the Wilkinsons.

Now, is that not just perfect?  I heard that for the first time “26 Cents” by Wilkinsons that day in the car.  Now whenever I hear it, I think here’s all of your Father’s love and that’s the truth that’ll change your life.

Male Speaker:  You can find out more about to have the joy that from living each day for God while still keeping up with daily life in the book “In His Footsteps:  Be Happy in Every Situation” available at the website http://inhisfootsteps.com  or online at Amazon.com.

Links

Christian Beauty An Act of Faith and Praise

Benefits of Writing a Book: why you should write that book you’ve been thinkin of writing

A peek at Vonda’s Take On What the Bible Says About Beauty on youtube. You don’t want to miss this one.

Get Vonda’s Book